In the face of mounting academic pressure on children, many parents feel the urge to push harder. However, a clinical psychologist advises the opposite: a gentler approach is far more effective in preventing burnout and fostering long-term success. This method focuses on connection and support over control and criticism.
Clinical psychologist Meghna Kanwat emphasizes that when kids are already stressed, a harsh or demanding parenting style only adds to their burden. Instead, parents should consciously adopt a gentler stance. This means offering encouragement instead of ultimatums, showing patience when they struggle, and prioritizing their emotional state over their immediate academic output.
This gentle approach is particularly crucial because parental stress is highly contagious. “Parenting stress and parental burnout themselves have been shown to contribute to children’s academic and learning burnout via pathways involving harsh discipline,” Kanwat shares. A stressed parent is more likely to be reactive, which in turn elevates a child’s anxiety levels, creating a vicious cycle.
The core of gentle parenting is a strong, empathetic connection. It involves actively listening to a child’s concerns and validating their experience. When a child says, “I’m so overwhelmed,” a gentle response is, “It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Let’s talk about it,” rather than, “You just need to try harder.” This validation builds trust and keeps communication lines open.
By choosing a gentler path, parents are not lowering expectations; they are creating the psychological safety needed for children to meet those expectations without crumbling. This supportive environment nurtures resilience, intrinsic motivation, and a healthier relationship with learning, effectively inoculating children against the damaging effects of burnout.